Monday, August 11, 2008
Today is a weird day, or so I thought. Reached Central and as I was walking out I was stopped by this girl from some blind foundation to do some survey. The thing is, I usually bullshit all the way to get away from all this obligations. My best excuse is, "I'm sorry but I'm running late. I have a class to catch, err like now". But no, I, for some reason, was being nice and I continued entertaining her. Look, the only reason that I can possibly think of me acting that way is because I know that I am going to be one of them when I do my fieldwork in the next few weeks. So, I guess that's just an unthinkable act out of sympathy. Oh oh and I declared myself as 21 but I was rejected from that survey because I'm not officially 21. Haha, now who says that I can't declare myself as still 20?
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These few days has been frustrating when it comes to bedtime. I sleep at 4a.m. but yet I am still energetic. I would lay around on my bed for a good half an hour before dozing off. In that torturing half an hour, all sorts of thoughts will start blurring my mind. Regrets, lies, frustration, guilt and all sorts of ridiculous thoughts. There's even once when I was thinking bout home so much that I wished that I am back home right now.
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Just the other day, I'd finally got the alert that I am so hoping to not see forever on my mobile, which is somehow rather, impossible. My Inbox was 95% full. See, the truth is that, I hate deleting messages. Every message means something to me. I know, it's rather lame to say that. Not only messages with lovey dovey stuffs from the boyfriend that I keep. Even simple and random messages means something that I love reading back once in a while. Like when FK and I were sms-ing about the shemale in the library, or when Sweez was sms-ing me telling me to msg her when I got home, for safety precautions or she'll call the police. Haha. I'm just that kind of person who loves keeping stuffs, for memory's sake.
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And I realised, I've been talking lesser lately. Why? I don't know. I just feel..different. It's just that something is holding me back and I feel some distance in between. That, I'll figure out but just not yet. Great, I was suppose to learn and try opening myself more, but now, again I'm having that unsecured feeling. I.don't.like.it.
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Thursday, August 7, 2008
There I go again missing. Just a summary of what happened since my last post, the semester has already started for 2 weeks, 1 month of winter break gone just like that and July has been an interesting and a fun filled month. Fun filled because I practically spent my whole winter break, about 3 weeks to be precise in Melbourne with people I love. The first week with the same bunch of crazy people that I bonded with over here and the remaining weeks with my family (: Alright, maybe not quite fun filled towards the end of the month, more of tragic filled, bad karma started to hit me. I reckon I've been put on a curse since I came here!! Wtf. I've already been hit by a few bad luck since I came here and now, the latest one is the worst. Nuff said.
Anyways bout Melbourne, I had a massive whole lot of fun. The people, the place, the food and the list goes on. In short, Melbourne was fun fun fun. In fact I fell in love with the place that I was thinking damn why didn't I come to Melbourne instead. Hahah well, I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. So as I said, spent the first week there with the gang and the remaining weeks with my family. Both were equally great in a way. With my aunties, uncles and cousins, I felt like as if I'm back in Msia with family and their love and coziness all around. With the gang, I felt appreciative because technically it's my first time going on a holiday with a whole group of friends. Yes, damn pathetic I know! But seriously, getting to know them and to know them even better and getting closer with each other really makes me appreciate this whole friendship a lot. That's truly from my heart wei, not bs-ing here. Haha Back to the topic, I had a few first times there. Don't think the other side please. I had the best durian ice cream ever, I went for my first skiing trip, I went to "some" club for the first time (:P) etc etc.
Pictures up later in the next post. Right now, I find photo bucket's new features interesting! Hahah gonna play with it for a while. Till then!
